Friday, July 12, 2013

Roller coaster

Places like Six Flags and other theme parks make their money off the beloved roller coasters. Patrons love the feeling of flipping, spinning, and stomach dropping. But it's completely different when the roller coaster you're on is an emotional one.

Not a surprise to anyone, this past week has been tough. I've cried enough to float Moses down the river and then some. I'm not myself; I'm quiet, sleeping 12 hours, emotionless, and just bleh.
But today takes the cake for emotional roller coaster rides.

I woke up from a terrible dream about Bogart.  Long story short, he'd been attacked by a Pit Bull and wasn't doing well. Normally when I have a dream like that I can just call his name and give his head a pat, but no. This nightmare woke me up just minutes before my alarm, which in itself is one of the worst things ever. So my day started with the image of a hurting, frightened, and not very good B. Part of me was all worried that it was a Harry Potter-Arthur Weasley being attacked by Nagini dream, but I know A- there aren't any Pit's where B is, and B- I know that's not possible where he is. But the paranoid part of me took over.

I was so exhausted I decided to go to Jittery Joes this morning and pick up coffee and a muffin (how profesh?) before heading to my internship for 9 hours. Now, some of you know that I have a heart condition. Basically my heart beats rhythm is off and will race for no reason- I can be sitting on the floor putting mascara on and I'm breathing as if I just sprinted a marathon. I guess my medicine hadn't kicked in by the time I started drinking it because for the entire day I was slightly shaking and just overall feeling weird, but I carried on. I got in the office and saw someone brought doughnuts. Anyone who knows me knows I can't resist any donut, much less a good one, so I ate that instead of my blueberry muffin.

My puppy raiser friend had to come in this morning to do something, so we had a nice chat about B and the dogs in general. At one point we were talking about getting an e-mail if they were doing something out of the ordinary (I know, super vague, but that's not the point). She left shortly after. Shortly after that my phone vibrated indicating that I had an e-mail. I opened up my mail and saw I had an e-mail from the foundation, entitled "A note for you from the training center!". Naturally I had to open it then. I couldn't wait a second longer, much less a few more hours until my lunch break.

As I read I had to fight back tears. It talked about all the things he's going to be doing while getting settled up there, including getting another tattoo- and it's not a heart with my name through it. I mean, I couldn't be the intern sitting at her computer crying. Talk about lame. So I fought back the tears until I read the closing (right). That's when it got really tough. But I took some deep breaths, smiled, and choked them back. I forwarded the e-mail my parents and wished it was lunchtime so I could go home and cry.

After spending too long working on a royal baby slideshow that didn't save half the pictures, I went on my lunch break.

Once I got home I called my mom. She said she didn't receive the forwarded e-mail from B, so I read it to her after telling her about my nightmare. I made it through about half a sentence until I got super choked up and sobbing. After I talked to my mom I called my dad. This itself is very similar to hunting for Osama. He's very hard to reach because he's always not in his office, but today I got lucky. His assistant transferred the phone to him. "Hey Daddy!" I said in the chipperest voice I could muster (I thought it was pretty good). Without missing a beat he said "are you ok? You sound like you've been crying." Dads... How do they know??? I asked him if he saw the e-mail and he had. I told him about my dream and how the e-mail was very nice to get, especially today. It's one of those times where God's got the perfect timing. But let's be real, when does he not? 

I fixed my face, ate my blueberry muffin and headed back to the Banner Herald. I had been told that my supervisor and co-intern were joking that I wasn't coming back after the slideshow stuff. The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly, but I was ready to get out of there once 5:00 hit. The day had been rough and it wasn't quite over yet.

As I left I checked my e-mail and saw that a roommate of mine didn't pay the outstanding portion of her rent payment that was due at 5PM today. Awesome.

I drove back to the house, eager to get there and do some more researching for the job interview I had in just an hour. On my way home I was lucky enough to pass my boyfriend as he was on his way to get food before he headed to work.

I got in and got changed and sat down to do some research. I really wasn't in the mood to do an interview, much less a phone interview but it was something I had to do. 6:00 rolled around and no phone call.... Thankfully that phone call eventually came and the phone interview actually went really well, and I may have a job offer! I was very, very surprised how well the interview went and now I don't even know why I was so stressed about it.

While I was getting interviewed my dad called again. So I gave him a call and told him all about it. We discussed it in detail, and as we did so my power went out. I sat in the powerless house and continued to talk to him. I ended up talking to my dad 5 times today, which is a massive feat considering he's the type that will respond to my text message asking "are you coming home this weekend?" days later while sitting in the same room as me.

I get to see him and my mom tomorrow as they come up to Athens and we begin to move me out of my house here. I have exactly one week left here. I'm procrastinating packing by writing this blog.
My heart is sad, I don't want to leave. There's been too much change in too little time, can't I just crawl into my bed for a day or two?

I don't want to leave this amazing place.

I'll forever be a gator hatin bulldawg (gators wear jean shorts), bleed red & black, and keep Athens and it's amazing memories in the most special-est part of my heart (next to Bogart, but he's a part of Athens, too).

I just hope this emotional roller coaster of life slows down a little bit.

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