Places like Six Flags and other theme parks make their money off the beloved roller coasters. Patrons love the feeling of flipping, spinning, and stomach dropping. But it's completely different when the roller coaster you're on is an
emotional one.
Not a surprise to anyone, this past week has been
tough. I've cried enough to float Moses down the river and then some. I'm not myself; I'm quiet, sleeping 12 hours, emotionless, and just bleh.
But today takes the cake for emotional roller coaster rides.
I woke up from a
terrible dream about Bogart. Long story short, he'd been attacked by a Pit Bull and wasn't doing well. Normally when I have a dream like that I can just call his name and give his head a pat, but no. This nightmare woke me up just minutes before my alarm, which in itself is one of the worst things ever. So my day started with the image of a hurting, frightened, and not very good B. Part of me was all worried that it was a Harry Potter-Arthur Weasley being attacked by Nagini dream, but I know
A- there aren't any Pit's where B is, and
B- I know that's not possible where he is. But the paranoid part of me took over.
I was so exhausted I decided to go to Jittery Joes this morning and pick up coffee and a muffin
(how profesh?) before heading to my internship for 9 hours. Now, some of you know that I have a heart condition. Basically my heart beats rhythm is off and will race for no reason- I can be sitting on the floor putting mascara on and I'm breathing as if I just sprinted a marathon. I guess my medicine hadn't kicked in by the time I started drinking it because for the entire day I was slightly shaking and just overall feeling weird, but I carried on. I got in the office and saw someone brought doughnuts. Anyone who knows me knows I can't resist any donut, much less a good one, so I ate that instead of my blueberry muffin.
My puppy raiser friend had to come in this morning to do something, so we had a nice chat about B and the dogs in general. At one point we were talking about getting an e-mail if they were doing something out of the ordinary
(I know, super vague, but that's not the point). She left shortly after. Shortly after that my phone vibrated indicating that I had an e-mail. I opened up my mail and saw I had an e-mail from the foundation, entitled "A note for you from the training center!". Naturally I had to open it then. I couldn't wait a second longer, much less a few more hours until my lunch break.
As I read I had to fight back tears. It talked about all the things he's going to be doing while getting settled up there, including getting
another tattoo- and
it's not a heart with my name through it. I mean, I couldn't be the intern sitting at her computer crying. Talk about lame. So I fought back the tears until I read the closing
(right). That's when it got really tough. But I took some deep breaths, smiled, and choked them back. I forwarded the e-mail my parents and wished it was lunchtime so I could go home and cry.
